So much

I've been reading too much news lately. It gets darker and more macabre every day. This Josh Powell thing sits in my stomach like bile. This morning on my run (I've started running again. Finally. Little victories.), it was like I could feel the groaning of the earth. This little earth is tired. There are these scary, violent few who insist on creating chaos and pain. And every time I think we've reached the worst, something else happens to knock the breath out of my lungs and make me wonder why we bother.

I had the entire weekend to relish with my husband. We spent Saturday eating waffles and wandering around stores and flirting through it all. There are moments where I look at him and I can't believe he's there. I used to have moments and flashes when I was single that a part of me was missing. Or, perhaps more accurately, I had no home. It wasn't a, "I'll be happy when/if I'm married thing." It was an intuitive, deep feeling that something big was missing. I was waiting for that something big.

And now he's here. He's at my side for an entire Saturday never tiring of my lame jokes or tired complaints. Ever my consistent Mister. And I feel so much light with him that it's tangible. I wonder if all of us who have a piece of light have the power to combat all that darkness. Sometimes, I'm not sure it's enough. And others, I really think it is.