Gratitude

Tomorrow my little brother, the one who was born when I was 12, goes into the MTC. He'll be going to New Zealand for 2 years. In many ways, he feels more like a son or a best friend than a brother. I feel a pit in my stomach when I think of him being out there halfway around the world all alone. I've been sitting here all night waiting for them to get into town so I can say goodbye for the last time. The Mister has been away with the girls and so I've just been sitting here alone, waiting. Waiting and watching Weeds. In one evening, I've watched 9 episodes. All of this has me feeling a bit weepy which may explain the next paragraph.

On one of the episodes, the main character is watching a video from when her husband was still alive. He climbs into bed and starts kissing and touching her. It made me cry as it did the main character. I know it's just TV, but I have that. It's so strange to see love stories told and to relate in any way to them. I have my very own version of a man who likes to please me and with him, I feel better about facing the world. When I go to say goodbye tonight, which will break my heart, I have someone to come home with. And I can't explain what a miracle that is.