Mother's Day weekend

I had a really good weekend.  As a woman, I don't really love Mother's Day.  I adore my own mother, but I just think it leaves too many of us out.  And as a stepmom, it just left me feeling a bit....out of place.  I haven't had my own kids, but I have contracted myself some through marriage.  I have made and will make sacrifices for them and I am realizing more and more that I will play a parenting role of some kind, but they have a mom who loves them.  So, I don't really feel at peace with getting Mother's Day attention.  I'm not The Mom.

That said, the girls did give me gifts.  They were all things that some other mom somewhere (church, school, play group) helped them make.  I was given a pen holder, a wall hanging, homemade body scrub, and earrings.  And, despite the coldness of my hard feminist heart, I found it moving.  They hugged me and told me they loved me, and I got a little melty.  They're good girls, and I'm grateful to have some part in their lives.  I'm grateful they include me.

The Mister was also very good to me.  The girls stayed with their mom this weekend, so we were able to be together and just hang out.  These days where it is just us are when I'm the most blissful and carefree.   It's awesome to have my best friend go with me everywhere I go.  Plus, he made me pot roast for dinner and raspberries and cream for dessert just like I asked for.  We took Zoe to the dog park and finally finished watching Arrested Development.  Perfect day.

My flaws are so apparent to me.  I've gained weight and cried more in the last year and a half than I have in recent memory.  My insecurities have been splayed far and wide.  Still - he stands there handsome and strong and dreamy as ever.   This man who is good to the core chose me.  And he continues to.  Miracle of miracles.