Still here.

Every time I go to write something on ye olde blog, I end up quitting.  Today, I'm just gonna do it.  Even if I think it's banal or too much or whatever.   

We're still in the condo.  We hope to have it back on the market in November.  I'm to the point where I don't even care if I lose money on it.  2 adults, 3 kids, and a growing boxer-puppy do not fit in a one room condo.  It makes the weekends tricky.  When we finally sell it, we've decided to move closer to the girls.  The place we'll be moving to isn't my first choice (or second or third), but if there's a way to give them more access to their father - that needs to come first.  Settling on that in my mind took a day or two of grieving.  I will eventually be leaving my city life.  But those girls need him closer.  And that's that.

I feel like I may finally be bringing my head above water on an emotional level.  My capacity to handle the swirl of transition I've been steeping in for the last year and a half has finally risen.  The rigidity I've felt is dissipating.  I can do this. I can be a wife.  I can be a step mom.  I don't have to be perfect in order to do a good job. I feel that more often than not, which is a welcome change.

I've become one of "those" dog owners.  Last night we bought the dog a t-shirt for Halloween that says, "I'm why we can't have nice things."  And I laughed and I laughed.  Poor puppy.

And to wrap up, a little love and hate.

I hate the election.
I love my country. 
I hate being an emotional eater. 
I love yummy food. 
I hate coming to work and finding an angry parent email.
I love the kids I teach and the teachers I work with. 
I hate feeling busy all the time. 
I love a quiet night with some girlfriends.
I hate the violence happening in the middle east.
I love that my form of protest can be completely violence free.
I hate when I go to get a drink of water from the fridge and the pitcher is empty.
I love my husband.  Indescribably.